Hello 30's!

Well, it's official I am not longer in my 20's. And I am actually ok with that. I lived a LOT and I learned a LOT in my 20's and I am excited to see what I do in the next 10 years. So I want to write to all of the readers that are in their 20's or are going into their 20's. Here are some things that I learned or wish I had learned sooner.

1. Pray everyday. I wish that I had received this revelation sooner. I knew that it was important, but I didn't realize HOW important it was. Things will NOT change in your life unless you pray for it to get better.

2. Learn to say "I am sorry" and "I forgive you." These three words will stop an argument quickly. Even if it wasn't your fault, suck up your pride and say I am sorry anyway. Your relationships are more important than the need to be right. Jordan is really good at this, I am still learning....

3. Don't wait to say "I love you." You never know how much time you have on this earth or with the people around you. If you love them, say it. And don't use the words if you don't mean it. They are powerful and they carry a lot of weight. If you are dating a guy, don't say "I love you" if you don't.

4. Tell people what you want. Especially in relationships. Men do NOT have the ability to read our minds. So do them and yourself a favor and tell them. People will treat you the way you allow them to.

5. Your family is a gift. They may not "get" you or give you advice you didn't ask for. But they will be there when everyone else leaves you. Treat them with respect because you reap what you sow.

6. Find out what clothes look good on you. Things that will never be ok to wear, booty shorts....NEVER and especially not in public. What you do behind closed doors is your deal but no one wants to see that. A crop top....a cat suit....anything that leaves little to the imagination. If you want to be treated with respect and taken seriously, dress like it.

7. Learn to drink wine. In your early 20's your interested in taking shots, but that gets old, expensive and lame. Drinking wine brings out the flavor in food and has history behind it. It sounds better to order a glass of Moscato on a date, not a red headed slut....just sayin.

8. Learn who YOU are. God has created all of us different, with a plan and a purpose for our lives. Don't try to be someone else, you are robbing yourself and God of who you were created to be. This world needs you, not a clone of someone else

9. Don't get married until you are ok with being alone, and who are are to God. I WISH I had know this early in life. Marriage is not intended to fill the hole of loneliness in your life, it's meant to compliment you. If you don't know who your are you will become who someone else wants you to be and you will always look to people to tell you who you are. Let God do that, so when your future husband comes along you are a team.

10. Recognize the good friends in your life. You will have friends that will always be there. It might be 1 it might be 5. Never take them for granted. Tell them you love them and always maintain those relationships. The ones that come along that are bad friends, don't invest your time into those.

11. Forgive. Even if they never say I'm sorry. Unforgiveness hold you captive, not them. Forgiving someone doesn't say it's ok, it says I refuse to stay bound by this.

12. Set high goals for yourself. If you don't push yourself, no one else will. When you set a high goal and reach it, you see what you are really made of and it builds your confidence.

13. Read books. Knowledge is power. Learn something new. A book I recommend is "How to win friends and influence people."

14. Smile. It makes you more personable and people want to be around people who smile.

15. Learn to listen. We often think we have all the answers and think of responses while the other person is speaking. When a person talks, listen. You learn a lot about people when you listen and take your time to respond.

16. Firm handshake. Don't break their hand. It indicates that you aren't weak and that you are confident.

17. Sit up straight. Being hunched over shows that you are insecure, and it's just bad for your back.

18. Take care of your teeth. People notice your teeth. They don't have to be perfect but people notice when some are missing (stay away from Meth should be obvious, but it destroys your teeth. So does smoking).

19. Learn to drive a stick shift. If you are ever in a situation where you have to be a designated driver and you are put into a manual transmission car you want to know what you are doing. Not only that guys think it's "cool" if you can do that.

20. Don't be afraid to get dirty. It's only dirt, you can wash it off.

21. Babysit for FREE. Again you reap what you sow, when you have kids you will appreciate it when people do that for you.

22. Hug people. I personally don't like people in my space but giving hugs can feel good and so does receiving them. Lahoma Graham is the BEST hug giver.

23. Learn to bake. Sometimes you just want a chocolate chip cookie and homemade ones are the best. Your future husband will appreciate this.

24. Learn to cook. Eating out is expensive and unhealthy. Again, men love a woman who can cook.

25. Men are drawn to the color red, the scents of vanilla or grapefruit, baked goods, a smile and a confident woman.

26. Some do not agree with this one, and I wish I had done this but, don't have sex until you get married. You will regret it if you do. It is a gift, and you can only give it away once. I'm not saying it's easy, but it's doable. There will be one person worth the wait. Plus, you don't want to get knocked up, or an STD. STD's are for life and nothing says, "hey don't date me" like and STD.

For any of you who want to add to this list please feel free to do so. There are more but I just don't have any more time today. Watch out 30's I'm gonna kick your ASS.

God, don't leave without us

Tonight while we were praying with the boys before they went to bed Brayden prayed for the Firefighters (obviously), Dominic prayed for his friend at school that is sick then Asher prayed, for a little while there I wasn't too sure what he was saying, but God does then he said the most profound thing I have heard in a while, although I don't think he knew what he said. "and God don't leave without us." I don't know why he said those words, maybe he's dealing with separation anxiety and this was his passive aggressive way of telling me, but they hit me right in my heart. Not just because the sweetest sound is hearing your kids pray, but because of the depth of those words. And I will get to why in a minute.
I am a part of a church plant here in Dallas, and it has been one of the most rewarding, and challenging things I have ever done. We officially launched our Sunday morning services in January, but we have been meeting for a year now and we have already outgrown the theater we are meeting in so God has literally opened the door for us to get a building, and an amazing building at that. So we are believing for $180,000 by the end of June, that is a lot of money but I know God is able to provide because I know that God has his hand on this church. Not because we have a really cool pastor or really friendly people (which we do), it's because we have our priorities in order, and that is to simply preach the Word of God and to help those in need (we do more than that but these two are important to the Lord). This church has grown so fast that it's hard sometimes to keep up with what God wants us to do and where He wants us to go. Thank God our pastor has a God bat phone and he leads the way. He is definitely power walking our church right now and I have short legs, so I have to pretty much jog...It has been an honor to get to lead the children's ministry and there are so many things God has put on my heart to do for them and I have been struggling to keep up. Tonight God reminded me to have child like faith, so those words Asher spoke tonight are going to be my prayer not just for this church but for me personally.
"Let our hearts stay humble and open to what You want us to do and where You want us to go. It's not about me or my agenda, Lord it's all about You and the people You want to reach. Let us empty ourselves out so that we can be your hands and feet and to go out and do Your work. Give us Your grace to do it and that we will have the endurance to continue to run this race. Give us Your eyes to see the need and to break our hearts for what breaks Yours. Let us be sensitive to what You want us to do and go before us to make a way, Lord where You go let us go, what You say let us say and what You pray let us pray, God don't leave without us."

Maybe those small 5 words mean something to you as well.

Trust

Tuesday was a teachable moment for me. I look at myself as a pretty put together person, for the most part. We all have moments where we lose it, someone I know calls them "human moments." I like that phrase, I had a human moment. And I can appreciate them when I have them and when others have them because it is a constant reminder of how human we really are and the areas that we still need to grow in. P.S. if you think that you are "good:" and don't have areas where you need to grow, brace yourself because God has a funny way of reminding you that you are NOT perfect.
Anyways, I knew that it was supposed to rain. No signs that it was going to anything but that. Until 11 am. The news would break in and give updates in the storm that they were tracking. You would look at the radar and it was all red, meaning crap is about to go down. But it was nowhere near me, it was hitting Arlington. The first thought was, "oh God, I have friends that live there, Lord protect them." Then another storm was hitting Dallas at the same time. Again, not near me. But I go to church in Dallas, and I have close friends and family that live there and again, "Oh God protect them." Then they say that a tornado has touched down in Arlington. I knew that God would protect my friends in Arlington but I continued to pray. I thought "God they just bought that house. It's their first home and she's going to have a baby soon. They just decorated the nursery please protect their home." I am not going to capitalize on their loss, but there was a lot of damage done and they are now having to live in a hotel. But God protected them and their baby (and their dogs) and that is all that matters. Then tornadoes starting touching down in Dallas. I knew that everyone would be safe because I prayed and I knew they were praying and I trusted God to protect them.
Around 2:15pm the storm moved north, where I am. I brought in all of my plants and anything that would get damaged in the wind or hail. Then I got a sinking feeling as I watched the radar, it's going to be much worse than I anticipated. I was not scared that we would be injured or that our house would be damaged, because I prayed and I trusted God to protect us.
Then 2:45 came around and the sirens went off. I took Brayden and Gabby into the closet under the stairs. And I prayed for God to protect us. The power went on and off and I was doing everything in my power to keep my composure. Not because I was afraid of the storm, I was afraid for my other two boys that were still at school. School got out at 2:50 and it took everything in me not to get into my car and drive to the school to get them because I know that I can protect them, but can the school? Thoughts flooded my mind, "where are they putting the kids to protect them?" "Are they scared?" "Are they ok?" "What if a tornado hits the school?" "What if I lose my kids today?"
I'm not being dramatic, just honest. I had a human moment. I was scared. Taking care of them is my job. I stay home to do that, and I can't protect them right now. I had prayed for God to protect them, so why was there no peace? My pastor called me while I was int he closet and prayed with me. He said, "Everything is going to be ok," in a very calm voice Oneka said if you need to laugh just call me and I will sing for you. "Laugh? Right now? I am scared. This is NOT funny." Thank God for Facebook, because one of our friends  that was in the Dallas storm posted that he told his daughter to get into the bathroom when the siren went off, and she said "why are the cops coming?" I laughed out loud. Laughter actually gave me peace. Like yes, everything is going to be ok.
I drove to the schools when they finally let them out and hour late and they were fine. Dominic complained because his butt was numb from sitting on the floor and Asher was excited because he got to hang out in the girls bathroom during the storm. Again, I laughed. They were ok. God protected the.
Later as I was thinking about my reaction because I do NOT like to be vulnerable God showed me an area that I need to work on. I trust God with things, but obviously not concerning my children. He reminded me that He can protect them better than I can, especially in situations that are out of my control. Not that I am going to have them play in traffic and "trust" that God will protect them. Obviously that's not wise. But If I pray and ask God to do something I have to have faith that He will do it. Otherwise I am praying in vain.
Sorry if this story was anti-climactic. Everything is fine here but we have friends that have lost things. But things can be replaced, God protected them. He can also restore the things that have been lost.

Rocked my world

Have you ever read something or heard something that just left you speechless?
Today we has a guest speaker come and minister to us this morning at church from Uganda. It was the first time that I had been in a service in 2 months because of the launch of the church I have been ministering to the children. I was excited to go into service and to be 100% honest with you I wanted to hear from my pastor, not a guest. So I had to pray that God would change my heart about it and open me up for whatever He wanted to teach me. So when you pray prayers like that, I suppose you should expect God to do just that, change your heart and open you up for what He wants to teach you.
Up gets this little white lady, she and her husband pastor a church of 20,000 in Uganda. She started to passionately tell stories of how mightily God has moved on their behalf while they have been there. God has literally stopped bullets from killing them, has given them a building during the middle of a civil war and has allowed them to save children who are abducted and trained to be child soldiers to kill those that they love and the mastermind behind the civil war came to their church and gave his life to the Lord during one of their services. She told stories of what some of these children were required to do to stay alive while they were fighting in these wars.
It broke my heart and rendered me speechless because we don't see things like that here, unless it's on the news, which actually sensationalizes what these people at actually living through, so it desenstizes us to their realities. I've always joked that I am NOT called to go to Africa or any foreign country for that matter. I will financially support those who do and I will pray for you if you go, but God don't send me. We (Jordan and I) have been beyond blessed. Not bragging, it is what it is, we have four beautiful healthy children, a healthy marriage, Jordan has a good jab that allows me to stay home with my babies, we are blessed to get to help lead in our church we have amazing families and friends. God has truly showered His grace on our lives and I am thankful everyday for what we have.
She said something today that I can't shake. She said, "Grace without responsibility equals greed." OUCH. I wouldn't see myself as greedy, but I bet if people from Uganda saw what we had they would think so, I bet some of the people in my own city would think so. I have been burdened lately with needing to do more. Not for our family but for others that are less fortunate. God has been so merciful to us and I feel like I am hoarding it. He has given us influence, what are we doing with it? Whose life are we changing? Are we utilizing the voice that He has given us? Not just for those in other countries or this country but what about at a local level? There are hungry kids right where you live, that seems silly in a country of wealth and opportunity. Or has all of the wealth turned into greed?
I was brought over to meet her after service and I was looking for something wise or profound to say to her because she is a world changer, I literally stood there and said "hello........" awkward Raema at her finest. I literally had nothing to say because I was speechless. Not by her, but by what God is doing through her and her husband.
Ask yourself this week, "what am I doing to make this place better?" If we don't make the change for the better, someone will make the change for the worse, I want better for my children and grand children. I don't know yet what God will want to do through us, but here I am, available, even if that means He wants me to go somewhere else.

Those are just my thoughts....

Gods love is beautiful

I purchased the Bethel album and the running theme is about God loving us more than we could ever understand. One of the lines is that the thoughts He has towards us are more than the sands by the sea.  If you have ever been to the beach you know that the sand is too numerous to count. Take a minute and list all of the things that you love about yourself. Some of us, our list is long and some of us our list is short. Regardless of how you see yourself and how many good things you think about yourself, God’s list of things He loves about us, NEVER ends. At some point we run out of human words to describe things, but God’s love for us surpasses an earthly language, it surpasses what we know to be love here on earth. Picture with me for a minute, God the creator of the universe, in its vastness, still knows every hair on your head, what you care about and what you need. He’s so big that He holds the world in His hands, but brings Himself to our level so we can have a relationship with Him. Nothing about the makeup of God is prideful, He’s humility to the core. He is humble enough to carry OUR burdens and OUR pain, so we don’t have to. That’s love. He knew you before you were even born and knew your name and the beautiful life you would have. That’s love. The love He has for us fills the deep longings of our souls that no person can fill. His love calms the storms in our lives, His love brings us up to His perspective so we can understand why the things that we don’t understand, happen. He will continue to give you grace, time after time. When you feel like you have failed at something, He loves you enough to give you the courage to try again. God will never give up on you, even when you give up on Him. God loves us so much that He sent Jesus to die for OUR sins. How unfair is that? Like our pastor says, He is unfair to our advantage. That is love. Open your heart to His love. Let Him show you things that you have never seen or felt. Life is too short to not feel extravagantly loved every day.