Nothing new...

It's Thursday, and I have done NOTHING productive this week. Well, that's not true, I've done stuff, just nothing pertaining to my weight loss goals. I have made a plan of just wearing leggings when I am in MN anyways, so those are stretchy and I won't feel bad when I eat for 5 days straight. But I hear that it hasn't snowed yet, which defeats the purpose of wearing leggings. I want to be prepared at anytime to put on my snow pants and slide down a hill. Is that too much to ask?
This is my last week of school for this semester, and I plan to celebrate by taking a nap. I hear somewhere that you retain weight when you don't sleep enough, so would hibernation do the opposite? Would I lose massive amounts of weight if I just slept through the winter? I was watching one of those Hollywood news shows, and they were showing the actresses that have lost a lot of weight this year and they showed Kelly Osbourne. They showed a before pic of her then an after pic. They say that she weighs 115lbs now. We are about the same height, so I would like to throw the BS flag on that one. Either I have a skewed view of my body size right now or they are LYING! I think that I was the size she is now, before I got pregnant, and that was like 7 lbs from what I currently weigh, and I can promise you I was NOT 115 lbs. I feel better about myself when I can crack on another person.....I suppose that's a heart issue. LOL.

Prayer of the righteous....

So I was looking at who my audience is, to better speak to you all on your level (being sarcastic, I am just curious) apparently I have people in Russia that read my blog? Wow, to all of you in Russia, Zdravstvujtye! You can find ANYTHING on google, That's hello in Russian! 
So you all are never going to believe what happened this last week. As you read I did NOTHING productive in terms of my weight loss goals. I ate cookies and brownies and loaves of bread. I get on the scale and hung my head in shame, and much to my surprise I lost 2 lbs.....I know I am confused too. So I thought Jordan was pulling a prank on me because he is sick of hearing my really "big plans" to lose weight and changed the scale. So, I had him get on it and it was accurate. I have officially changed my weight loss plan. Eat whatever I want....I guess that works better, or maybe it was all of the meds i was on? I did try on those jeans again, still a muffin top so I am thinking maybe 5lbs left and I won't have to work so hard to get them on. I guess we shall see. I do plan on burning a bunch of calories in MN because I am going to go sledding like a 5 year old and whoop on Jordan at hockey.  
That's all for today, I have a crazy busy week. We will see what kind of time I can come up with to write about my really exciting life....

I blame Minnesota.

I would like to use this platform as an opportunity to blame my location of birth and upbringing on the fact that I can NOT lose this weight. I suppose it's only been two weeks and I should chill out, but whatever. I was raised in the frozen tundra (Minnesota) and whenever it gets cold here all I want to do is eat a creamy soup, a loaf of bread, brownies and drink coffee. This is of course completely contrary to ANY healthy lifestyle advice you read online. I guess I technically have two weeks until Christmas, so maybe I'll lose another pound or two. To make myself better I ate a bag of steamed sugar snap peas for lunch, and I chased that down with a brownie. So I think that I am right on schedule. I am one legit goal setter.

Nope....still fat.

Look, I know it's been a week but is it wrong to just want to get lipo and be done with it? I don't have time to go to the gym! I'm a busy LADY!!!! I think that I've lost like 1lb. So whatever, I'll take it. At this rate I'll be down 4 lbs by Christmas. Is that enough to fit into my jeans? I guess we shall see. I have vowed not to try them on until right before I leave for Minnesota.  I have decided to come to terms with the fact that SOME OF MY CLOTHES MAAAAAAY be out of style, so I went through my things and I am donating a lot of them. I'm almost 30, isn't that the age where you start to wear a pant suit everywhere you go? I think I need some pant suits. OMG with a muffin top? That would RULE! I am really excited for what 2012 has in store for me AND my muffin top. We have big plans.

I think it's been a week?

Well I kind of fell off the grid there for a couple of days. I have been sick for the past two days. I wonder what the caloric make-up is of a Dayquil? On Friday I was really excited because I thought that Jordan and I were going to get to go to a Christmas party for his company, where I got to get dressed up, what girl doesn't like to do that? Well, I guess Jordan waited too long to get tickets so no party for me, I'm not gonna lie I ate three trick-or-treat candy bars to try and make me feel better. So I'm not sure how effective I will be at working out this week. For the past three days I have been eating bits and pieces of food (I seriously cannot remember what I ate). I think I had a banana yesterday...
I have zero creativity today so this is about it for my post. Sorry for the amount of lame I am giving off right now.

Day 3

Well I was really excited because I had a pear for breakfast, took my multi-vitamin (because you are supposed to eat it with food) and a glass of water. Then I threw up my pear because apparently a pear isn't food enough for the dumb vitamin. I was planning on going to the cycling class that morning but the throwing up kind of put a damper on that plan. So I thought, I worked out two days in a row, I'm gonna take the day off. Then I thought UGH I have to tell everyone that I didn't work out and they will think I'm lame. So I went for a walk at the park. I guess it's better than nothing. I don't remember what I had for lunch, so I'm guessing it wasn't much. And Jordan and I ended up going out for dinner after our leadership meeting. I had an omlette with egg whites, it was amazing! Something I need to work on, going to bed earlier. Midnight is too late for me.

Lame day 2

Day 2

I had a bowl of Multi-Grain Cheerios. Now i can see why Gabby won't eat them

I decided to put workout clothes on after I took a shower. Maybe to motivate me to go to the gym? Knowing that I wasn't going until almost 6 that night.

For lunch I had a handful of Wheat Thins and tuna.....lame

I think I did 100 loads of laundry, so that has to count as some form of a caloric burn right?

Finally went to the gym with a friend. We took a class. I think that lady was trying to kill us.

And a drum roll please for dinner....steam sugar snap peas and carrots. For dessert another pear.

Well this blog is going to be this lame for the next 4 weeks. I better lose this weight or I will hurt someone. And I wanted to eat a Kit Kat last night but I didn't a. because I am an honest person and I knew I would have to tell you I did that and know that you all would judge me and b. if I did eat it and lied to you I know that liars go to Ohio. It's cold there.

Muffin Tops RULE!

So, I did a 21 day fast and lost about 5-7 lbs. That was a month ago, I pretty much gained around 3-5 lbs since then…..I have a pile of jeans that are sitting in a corner mocking me because I can’t fit into them YET! I’ll show you pile of jeans! I have roughly 10 pounds to lose until I am at the weight I was before I got pregnant with Gabby. Things that I have learned over the past year are, Chili Cheese Burritos should NOT be a staple food in your diet, your metabolism is MUCH slower the closer you get to 30, you do NOT need to eat a whole bag of chocolate on any day EVER! And my sister-in-law will love this one, meat can be over rated (but I’m not committed to being a vegetarian).  So, I am really wanting to kick those jeans ass and fit into them again..by Christmas? I’m not sure if I’m over committing myself to this one but, we will see how it goes. I might just wear them, muffin top and all on Christmas. Your welcome Minnesota family! Now that this is on the internet, public information to the WORLD, I either need to do it, or go into hiding. I am going to keep track of what I do every day so you all can take part on this insane journey for 4 weeks. I don’t care if you don’t care, I’m writing anyways.

Day 1

Had rolled oats, cinnamon and raisins for breakfast, it’s not as good as the stuff with the dude with the hat on the package (I’m not getting paid to endorse products so forget names)

Went to a cycling class at 9AM! I suppose I am feeling really ambitious.

Almost threw up and died during the class.

Went to my storage unit to get all of the Christmas decorations. Of COURSE they would be in the back at the bottom. Does this count as weight lifting?

 Set up my Christmas tree, Seriously? The lights don’t work?

Went to Target to buy new lights. These better work or I’m gonna punch someone.

Crap I forgot to eat lunch. I never thought I would say those words ever. Who forgets to eat?

For dinner, steamed vegetables. I would rather starve. UGH.

I usually want to eat a bag of chocolate by 8pm, and I stated earlier that this isn’t a good idea. So I had a pear. I feel depression slowly creeping up on me. LOL.

And all of you who know me, know I will drink coffee like a champ, I didn’t have any today. I think that deserves a bag of chocolate…. 

The truth will set you freeeeee

The Book of Joel isn’t exactly a book in the Bible for the faint of heart. Especially when what he’s talking about mirrors what we are going through today. Here in Texas I believe we are going on like day 35 of triple digit heat. Farmers are losing their crops because there hasn’t been rain, lakes are drying up and people are dying because it has been so hot here. It’s getting pretty serious, and there has been talk that this could last for a while, like October. Now, we can blame it on pollution, global warming or whatever else that makes us feel better, but what if it’s something different? This weather isn’t crazy just here in the US. Look around the world. Record breaking earthquakes, tsunamis, drought it’s everywhere. Could this be the hand of God? It’s been prophesied for thousands of years about the thing s to happen before Jesus returns, and prophecy is coming to pass every day. The point of this post isn’t to strike fear or anxiety in anyone because God is still on the throne and tells us in 2 Chronicles 7:14, “If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” In this verse God isn’t talking about just anyone, He’s speaking directly to those of us that are Christians. We have been given authority over evil, and we as Christians have been asleep and in denial about all of the terrible evil things that are happening in the world. I like this quote, “If the land is in broken condition, it is not because the heathen are acting as heathen, but because the church is not acting as the church.” OUCH! I fall in this category of the church not acting as the church. Christians (and I am going to use this in the broad sense, if you are living according to the Word then don’t get offended at this statement) have been lazy, arrogant leaders. We have compromised and have conformed to the way the world does things to “try and be relevant.” “Relevant” (for the most part) means sleeping around, watching porn, cussing, watching things that if Jesus was sitting next to you, you would be ashamed to watch, ungodly relationships, and the list goes on and on. I’m not perfect because as one point in my life I have done all of the above, but I was unsaved. So, this behavior is to be expected from those who don’t know any better, I’m not condoning it, but you have to have grace and mercy for the un-enlightened.

It’s hard to stand up against what everyone else is doing, and the church is no exception. We will be mocked, criticized, un-friended on Facebook, talk about behind our backs, called crazy or fanatic. They did worse to Jesus and He said to expect it as followers of Him. At what point are we going to get out of the valley of decision with the unbelievers and start acting like the Christ followers that we are? Does acting like Jesus mean to become “better” than people? Absolutely NOT! It means to get your crap together, learn who you are in the Lord and be ok with who He made you to be, get filled with the Spirit (another subject for another day but extremely important to know about) and then go out and show the love of Christ to those around you. Feed the hungry, love the loveless bring hope to the hopeless, be humble but confident and for heaven’s sake PRAY! Change starts with you. If you are broken get healed, let Jesus work on the inside of you.

We need to come together instead of working against each other and go out and be the light in the world. When the world is falling apart it is our JOB as Christians to show them who is really in control and that is God.

Again I can’t stress enough the utmost importance of prayer. If your job sucks pray that there will be change. If your marriage is broken and so is your heart pray for restoration and for your heart to be healed, if you are sick pray for God to heal you. Life and death is in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit (proverbs 18:21), you have the ability to speak life or death into your situation.

If you are reading this thinking that I am angry, well I am sort of angry. Not at any of you but at the Body of Christ as a whole. I fall under this category so I am also guilty. I will always try to point my finger at me first before I point it at anyone else. There are plenty of areas where I need to grow and this is an area that God has really been stressing. If we can come together the things we could accomplish would be endless.

I challenge you to reflect on the areas of your life where God is convicting you to make change. Take the step and begin the process of change.  

P.S.  If Jesus isn’t Lord of your life read my Blog “choices choices” and there is prayer you can pray to become a part of this beautiful family.

What JUST HAPPENED?

I was about 3 hours into my drive and I was in the middle of nowhere Oklahoma. Gabby started crying and I knew it was time for her to eat so I saw an exit coming up, and as I approached I see this ghetto wood sign that says something along the lines of “best animal exhibit in the nation.” Two thoughts came to mind, what kind of animals do they have out here in the middle of nowhere and will I be killed by some toothless inbred if I go there? I decided to take my chances. So I pulled off the highway and pulled into this parking lot that is literally across from a trailer park, not a nice one either. I say a prayer that I won’t get murdered and got all of the kids out of the car. We go up to the door and there is a sign that says they are not responsible for animal bites…sounds safe enough! I go in and pay for us to have a private escort through the exhibit because at the end of it the kids would get to play with a baby tiger (the white ones with the blue eyes). We walked through the exhibit and we came to the cage that had porcupines in it. Now from all of the cartoons I have ever seen the porcupine would shoot its quills at you, so I’m quickly escorting my children away from the chain link fence so we don’t get quills shot at us. BUT just so you know they don’t shoot them at all. Just don’t brush up against them. Anyways, there was a guy going in to feed them and the porcupines ran to the door because they saw the food and they followed him through the cage like puppies. They each knew their names too which I thought was cool. This guy saw the boys watching and he gave each of them a quill! I immediately took them and put them in my purse because it would become impaled in one of them and as the sign said they take no responsibility! There were Lions and tigers and LIGERS! Yes, they do exist. At the end we were brought into this cage and the woman who was escorting us brought out this baby tiger and the kids got to play with it. After we were done we went back inside and I got 4 waters and 4 icees. It cost me $14!

Because I knew I would be going through a toll in Kansas I withdrew $20 before I left, I decided to pay for the waters with my cash. I was given $6 back. And that was NOT enough to get me through the toll. I got to the toll in Kansas and I was certain that when I stop to fill up with gas I can withdraw more so I don’t have to worry about it. I get to the ATM and of course it says “out of order.” Why wouldn’t it! So I have a 5 and a 1 rubbing them together hoping they make babies because I have NO IDEA how I am going to get through the toll, it costs like $15. So I was asking God to do something because I don’t know what to do. I get to the exit where I have to pay. There is a long line of like 6 cars at one of the toll windows but I notice at the end there is a green arrow blinking showing that that line was open, so I pull all the way over to that one, I get to the window and the lady says, “that will be $6.……..” I handed it to her like what just happened was normal.

Now am I saying that was an angel at that window? Perhaps, I don’t know what happened all I know is God pulled through for me. Hebrews 13:2 says, “Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.” I know it’s talking about being hospitable here BUT the point is, angels are among us.

It was a fun trip through the backwoods animal exhibit, the kids will remember that AND God showed me that He’s got it covered.  

Your perception will determine your attitude

So I know it’s been a LONG time since I have written. And I would like to give a shout out to Jordan because he is the one that actually said something about it which says to me that he learns new things when he reads them and is in need of a new revelation. So if no one else gets anything out of this, here you go Jordan.

I just got back from my road trip to Minnesota. I packed up all four kids, said a quick prayer for sanity and off I went.  I took this same trip last summer, same time but I was pregnant with Gabby and my life was in a state of uncertainty. Not between Jordan and I, just with some big life choices that we had to make. Out of respect for the other party I will not further explain the choices. I was in a place where I was spiritually dry and wanted so badly for God to tell us what we wanted to hear because that would have made everything so much easier; but, He didn’t. He told us to do the most difficult thing that we have ever had to do.

Back to the trip last year. I enjoyed myself but I had this cloud over my head and was constantly thinking about the choice we had to make. I over looked the beauty around me. I neglected the family that was around and wasn’t completely present.

This year was so much different. I went with clarity and with excitement and joy. I took in everything that I missed last year, the drive up there was beautiful. I got to see the rolling prairies of Kansas, the “best animal exhibit in the nation” in Oklahoma, the sunset over Missouri. It was really beautiful. I was completely open to what God wanted to show me and teach me. Because of my willingness, a miracle happened and during my vacation my cup ran over and God showed me that my church isn’t only one doing amazing things. All of these things have long stories behind them. Maybe this week I will blog about them.

For the past year I had been hiding behind a rock from God. And I actually told people that I was hiding from God, because I was afraid of what He would say to me or ask me to do. I allowed the enemy to twist my perception and the reality of God’s nature. Which is love and only love. When we made the choice to surrender our future to God I took the step out from behind the rock and I said, “ok God, show me, teach me and tell me what you want me to see, know and do.”  I spiritually woke up. This has been an amazing past couple of months. I have learned more, loved more and prayed more than I ever have. I feel like by me surrendering, I shed the things that were holding me back and that this year I will learn more about who God is and by doing that, l learn more about who I am. I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. That God loves me and has a plan and a purpose for my life. I am blessed and highly favored. God’s thoughts towards me are precious and if I counted them they would be more in number than the sand. By the way, these are all things that God feels towards you too, it says so in the B-I-B-L-E. You don’t have to be perfect, you don’t have to have all the answers for Him to love you. He loves you right now. Right where you are and in your current condition.

I feel so alive and I feel confident with who God has created me to be.

Here is my challenge for you. What have you been afraid to do or choice to make? What rock are you hiding behind? (If you are hiding behind a rock just an FYI, God can still see you back there). Step out from behind the rock and make the step in God’s direction. Let Him lead you. He will never leave you alone, He will never forget about you and He will never tell you to do something that will hurt you or that you can’t handle. Sometimes the choices can hurt our emotions, like letting go of a relationship or closing a chapter in your life, but it will be better for you in the long run. Let God change your perception of who He is and what He has put you here on this Earth to do.

Our lives are too short to be afraid. There is too little time for us to hide from the person God has created us to be. Go out and be an answer to the chaos in the world. He has created us to do great things. Wake up if you are spiritually sleeping, a big world is waiting for you.     

gratitude

So this topic is something that we are all aware of but sometimes forget about. This week I want us to focus on gratitude.

It’s confession time with Raema…So, I have not been the kindest person to be around lately. I have been short with my kids and cold to my husband. Both of these things are not ok, but I want to show you that I am human and fall short and I am ok with admitting that. I can come up with a million reasons why it’s justifiable but the truth is that none of them are justifiable reasons. So, why the attitude? Well, first go back to my post about choices, then come back and read this one.

God showed me that I haven’t been very grateful for the things that I have or the people that God has blessed me with. We live in a society that bombards us with images, commercials, tv shows, movies etc that tell us that we don’t “have enough” or what we do have isn’t “good enough” that we aren’t pretty enough or skinny enough, that we don’t have enough money, that our spouses are the problem that our lives aren’t what we want them to be. If we are trying to live up to those standards we are going to fail every single time.

What is the solution? Be happy with where you are now. Yes, it’s good to have goals, something to work towards and to achieve. If you are unhappy with where you are don’t sit and complain about it and blame everything else around you, do something to make a change. If you are overweight, learn self control and exercise and eat healthier. If you aren’t happy in your marriage, learn to communicate with your spouse. Learn to work as a team instead of putting all the blame on them. The list can go on and on. God never promised us that life would be easy, but when things get hard He has the solution to get us through.

I personally need to be thankful for what I do have. I am truly blessed. My kids are healthy, my husband loves me, is faithful to me and is a Godly man. I have amazing friends that will support me in anything that I do, I have a beautiful house (and I am thankful to have a house, when some people have lost everything they have in storms over the past couple months), I have a great family and I have a God that loves me enough to be patient with me even when I am ungrateful for what He has blessed me with.

So this week here is the challenge, make a list of all of the things that you are grateful for and why. When you begin to thank God for what you have, you stop looking at what you don’t have. Wake up every day and thank God for another day to live. You never know when your last day will be, so be thankful for today and try to out-love those around you. And when you fall short don’t beat yourself up, just pick up and try again. It’s never too late to say you’re sorry or that you love someone. Don’t look back and regret what you were too stubborn to do (that line was for me).

I would like to introduce you to your life, now live it to its fullest. Be an active participant and not an observer.

You be the judge....or not.

Who wants to hear a story about a girl who got a stern talking to from God? Remember the blog where I said, “God does not bring condemnation, but He will bring conviction. He will correct you when you are in the wrong?” (I just added that last sentence, it transitions better into what I’m about to say.)

So I’m driving down the road, minding my own business, talkin’ smack about people in my head, (because there isn’t anyone in the car with me but my kids and that would just make me look crazy if I was talking out loud). Remember: the title of this blog is getting real with life….don’t act like you don’t talk smack about people! I’m just being honest with all of you, I want you to see that I am human too and I have things that I need to learn and grow through. Ok, driving along, thinking about how “great and perfect” my life is and how far from sin I am. Does anyone see the irony in this? Then all of a sudden God steps onto the scene. It’s like getting caught doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing…

I love how God will use almost anything to teach you something OR to humble you. I am not going to use names or details of situations to be respectful. I have a friend that is living a lifestyle that I don’t agree with, I have judged her mercilessly. I turned my back on her and left her without a good example of how to live a righteous life. I have turned her over to the enemy and said, “have your way with her, she deserves what she gets.” Has anyone done this before?  I stood here pointing my finger at her, screaming ‘GUILTY!’ and kicking her when she is down. God made it VERY clear to me that I was standing in HIS shoes as the judge, and that these shoes are too big for my feet and basically “get out of them.” He said that it’s my job to pray for her, and to be merciful. And I have a feeling that He wants me to reach out to her to let her know that I haven’t given up on her. Just because God has told me to pray for her, does not make the lifestyle ok, but my job is to be a light in her life. This is not the only time that I have taken it upon myself to play the role as the judge, but let me tell you something, I am MUCH more cautious about what I say about people out loud OR in my head. When we stand in Gods shoes we keep ourselves from being in the posture of mercy, compassion or forgiveness. We take on a prideful and arrogant position and condemn those we think are guilty, when that is not our job.

We are supposed to use Jesus as our example, let’s take a look at one example of mercy we are all familiar with. John 8:2-11 (my thoughts are in red)

   ² At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. ³ The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. (Cleary guilty) They made her stand before the group ⁴  (to belittle and humiliate) and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. ⁵ In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” ⁶ They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

   But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. ⁷ When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” ⁸ Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

   ⁹ At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. ¹⁰ Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

   ¹¹ “No one, sir,” she said.

   “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Jesus, the only one that is perfect and could judge someone, didn’t. Go a couple verses down to John 8:15-16, “You judge by human standards; I pass judgment on no one. ¹⁶ But if I do judge, my decisions are true, because I am not alone. I stand with the Father, who sent me.” 

Ummmm, ouch! I now have two ways of looking at things, when in doubt, stay on the side of humility and mercy…

¹ “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ² For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Matthew 7:1-2)

Here is an assignment for this week. When you catch yourself gossiping or thinking hatefully about someone, REPENT, and get out of Gods shoes. Simple challenge…be aware of your thoughts and words, God hears them all.    

The Prodigal horse

I was wonderin what to write this week to all of you, then my sister-in-law, Lauren, just posted this on her page. I think that all of you need to hear this, it's beautifully written and really speaks to your heart, enjoy!

I sit here in my green lawn chair staring out onto the ridge of 6500 acres at Pole Canyon.  As I stare out I see trees, cactus, ridges and hills but the one thing I don’t see is the only thing I am looking for – my horse – Bert. I feel like a mom who stays up all night waiting for her kids to come home safe.  I call out yelling his name “Bert, Bert!!!” but he is either too far away to hear me or he doesn’t care.
Bert panicked earlier today when his pasture mates rode off on a trail ride with out him.  He did NOT and WOULD NOT be left behind.   He was in a 10×10 pen but that was not going to stop him from being with his herd.  Horses need security to feel safe and Bert’s security was in his pasture mates.  When the   securty was ripped away from him, he panicked.  First he threw a tantrum and with out words was saying, “Don’t go, Don’t go!  Please don’t leave me here, I don’t want to be alone and I am scared!” But when that didn’t work he started to bang his body up against the pen panels hoping to push them open.  When that didn’t work, he lost all sight of sanity – all sight of self preservation.  We call this FIGHT or FLIGHT in the horse world.  And Bert decided to “FLIGHT”!  He jumped over the pen.  It wasn’t one smooth jump – Nope – he was stuck half way and ripped the skin off his front legs.  That didn’t slow him down or stop him – “FLIGHT” continued to ring in his head.   He pushed his back legs off the ground and jumped over the rest of the pen.  This time his front hooves scraped up against his back legs causing blood to gush down his beautiful white leg.  Bert’s fear took over and he was no longer the rational, sane horse that was given back to me from the trainers just 6 short months ago.  He was irrational and very capable of causing harm to me and himself – all so he could be close to the other horses and have a sense of securtiy back.
I tried to call him down and catch him.  I tried to offer him food, grain and water – all securties and things needed for survival.  None of that mattered!  Finally with panic and fear his his eyes, he took off into the vast open space – the 6500 acres of Pole Canyon Ranch.  Now I sit here staring out onto this beautiful view constantly sweeping the ridge lines looking for a trace of my beloved horse.  As I sit here, I have to wonder -”Is this how God feels?”
Is God sitting on the His throne looking out onto the horizon hoping that His Children will still find their way home?
Did God see the panic and fear in our eyes as we made the wrong decision that caused Him harm – that caused Him pain – as we turned our backs and galloped off chasing something we would never find?
Did God provide us with a pen and strip us of our false sense of securties, in order for us to trust Him and rely on Him for safety?
God is this how you feel?
As all these thoughts run through my head and I wrestle with the idea that my horse may not be found and may not find his way back, I hear God say “Lauren, would you give this all up for me?” Continuing to stare out to onto Pole Canyone, I said “God I would give it all up for you.” At the moment, I had to lay Bert down.
We continued to search for Bert.  Other riders had gone out for several hours in search of a sign of my horse.  They looked for fresh tracks but because the land was so dry they could not find any.  We would climb to the highest point of the Canyon hoping for a glimpse of Bert.  We continued to call his name and look in creeks and brush for my lost horse – still no signs of him.
Over 30 hours after Bert panicked and left camp, a cowboy named Floyd arrived at the Canyons to go trail riding for the weekend.  Floyd was an avid trail rider and new the land at Pole Canyon like the back of his hands.  I informed Floyd of the missing horse and asked him to keep his eyes open for a buck skin paint.
We had left that evening to go into town for dinner.  They hoped to distract me from the emotions of feeling as if I had lost my horse. They tried to reassure me that he could still be out there and we would find him before we came home; however, I could tell in their tone that even they were beginning to lose hope.
As we drove back to the Canyons that evening, I could see from far off the rode that someone had put their horse in Bert’s pen – Wow – that hurt!  Even the other riders believe he isn’t coming back and they are now using his pen for their horses.  As we drove closer to the camp site and the pen where Bert was last seen, I catch a glimpse of the horse that is now in his pen and I scream “Bert is here! Bert is here!  My horse is back!”  It wasn’t another horse in his pen but it was my horse!  It was Bert!  I yelled “Stop the car!” and I swung the door open, jumped out and ran as fast as I could towards pen number 10.  It was Bert – it was really him.  He was in his pen, safe and unharmed.  He only showed signs of cuts and scrapes but overall he was fine and happy to be home.   I turned around and there sat Floyd outside his trailer.  I ran towards him and said “Did you find Bert? Are you the one who brought my horse back?” He said he found him far off in a field by himself and Bert couldn’t have been happier to have been found and head back to camp with him.  Before he could even finish his rescue story, I gave that cowboy the biggest hug ever which in return he replied “Wow, I didn’t realize the horse was worth that much?!?” And I told him, “He is worth that much to me!”
In Luke 15 is the story of the prodigal son.  The prodigal son ran off into the world and wasted all of his inheritance.  He was left with no money, food or shelter.  The son left the safety of His father’s home to chase after the things of the world.  He finally came to his senses and decided to go home.  In verse 20 it says “When he was still a long way off, his father saw him. His heart pounding, he ran out, embraced him, and kissed him.”
God feels the same about us.  He is looking out over the highest points yelling our name “Lauren, come home!  Lauren, come home!” He is searching for us in the canyons, creeks, ditches and brush.  He continues to have hope and believe that He will see us walking out over the ridge line headed towards Him!  Bert chose to go into the vast canyon by himself because he was too afraid to stay at camp alone.  But what Bert didn’t realize was that although the other horses were gone, I was still there.  He was never alone!  And just like Bert was never alone, we are NEVER alone.  No matter how scared we might be or feel, we are never alone.  All we have to do is call on His name and He is there!

"You are a priority to Me."

I was walking tonight and I was praying while I was walking and God put this on my heart.

“You are a priority to me.”

When you are praying you aren’t waiting in a long line to get God’s attention, He is always listening to you. When you open your mouth and speak He hears you, when you step out in faith He sees you when you cry He counts every tear. I love the scripture, “…for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deut 31:6)

God is concerned about all that you do, from the small to the big things in life, He cares. If we weren’t a priority to Him He would never have given humanity a million chances to be the people He created us to be. He sent Jesus to take the punishment that was meant for you and me. Back at the garden of Eden He could have been like, “peace out fools, you’re on your own!” (God talks to me like that in case you were wondering). But He didn’t. He made them a promise that there would be one to save humanity, and He sent His own son. Personally, if you have kids try to imagine doing that. Tell one of your kids that they are going to be beaten until they were no longer recognizable, spit on, ridiculed, abandoned by those closest to them, rejected, then hung on a cross for a crime they didn’t commit. I couldn’t do that, sorry we would all would be going to hell if it was in my hands…But God didn’t do that and neither did Jesus, He said, “not my wil,l but yours be done.” You were a priority to Jesus. He died so you could live eternally in the presence of God.

Side note: I have always wanted to know what it would be like to walk on a street of gold, and do we need to walk or can we tella-port places and fly? I can’t wait to find out.

If you think that you have been forgotten about, you haven’t. You are a priority to God. Hang in there, your answer is on its way.  

Priorities

New week, new topic.

May I take a quick moment to remind those of you reading this, I talk about JESUS and the BIBLE if you are going to get offended stop reading it immediately.  I am not “preaching” at you, you are choosing to read this, just a friendly reminder J

With that being said, I appreciate those of you that are growing and learning something new from my posts, that has been my prayer this whole time.

This week I want us to focus on priorities. Our society pushes their agenda on our lives and we ignorantly follow what they tell us. We need to more aware of where all of our time is going and what we are investing that precious time into.  Are you caught up in drama? That wastes our time talking about it AND thinking about it. What could you be doing that is worth something instead of getting caught up in other people’s issues you have no business getting involved in? Are you wasting your valuable time in relationships that are toxic and draining? It is really hard to walk away from friendships that are unhealthy but would you rather walk away now or look back five years from now and regret all of the time you invested that amounted to nothing but pain?

How about your money? I know people get really defensive about their spending. But you will invest your money into what you value and what you value is a priority to you. Do you save? Do you give to the needy? Do you tithe? Do you use wisdom in your purchases? Do you spend more than you make? The way you answer these questions will show you what you value. Will expensive clothes make you a better person? Or better yet, can you take them with you when you die? “Life is easier when you have a lot of money.” Is it? Do you know who your real friends are when you are wealthy? Would they be there when you aren’t wealthy?

You know what's in a persons heart when you see what they value. What do people see about your heart? Are you shallow? Are you selfish? Or, are you generous and kind? Remember, God examines the heart.

I have been taught that God always comes first, your husband second, children third, everything else comes last. So, why your husband before your kids? Well, when your kids grow up and leave the house, who are you going to be living with? Your husbad. It would be wisdom to make sure you always keep that relationship healthy because you don’t want to wake up in 20 years and wonder who this person is laying next to you. Not only that, your relationship is a living example to your kids about how to conduct themselves in a marriage. If you have kids, and you are married, what are they learning by watching you and your spouse? You have to make time for your spouse, they even come before you. It’s not easy and at times I don’t like it, but you have to remain selfless.

Do your friends take the front seat in your life? Be careful who you surround yourself with, you are who you hang with. Trust me, I learned this one the hard way.

If you have woken up and not liked the life that you are living, ask yourself why? Don’t put the blame on others, a lot of how your life is going, is a choice that you have made. Granted there are things that other people are responsible for but you are responsible for how you deal with it and overcome.

I urge you to get your life balanced with what’s really important. It’s never too late to make changes, it may not be easy but it’s never too late. (p.s. if you are unhappy in your marriage I am NOT suggesting divorce…that should never be the first solution to problems in your marriage).

This weeks “assignment”

1.       Remember that prayer thing? Yeah that should be a priority. So continue prayer every day but take make three of those days 10 minutes instead of 5.

2.       Make a list of your priorities, and be honest with yourself.

3.       If those priorities are out of order, make some goals to correct them (a handy tool would be to ask God how to correct them)

Here comes Peter Cotton tail...

Easter is not over yet, I still have about 1 hour to try and say something witty and profound before this topic will have to wait until 2013. You are welcome in advance!

So Easter has always been a holiday to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus. But over time people got all offended at the name of Jesus and tried to take Him out of His own holiday…I was told by a friend that somewhere in the Northwest there is a school district that won’t call Easter eggs “Easter eggs” you have to call them “Spring spheres.” Yes, you read that correctly. So my question to them is, “does the word “egg” offend you too?” And the whole egg thing is weird enough, I would like to know who the person was who thought Eggs go perfectly with Jesus raising from the dead…..any thoughts on that?

Let’s go back to this week’s topic about choices. The greatest choice that was ever made was Jesus choosing to go through with the crucifixion for humanity. You see Jesus was 100% man AND 100% God, so He didn’t HAVE to go through with the crucifixion, He could have called in an army of angels to stop it at anytime but He said, “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” (Luke 22:42). What Jesus was about to go through was not a foreign thing, it was a common practice for the Romans to crucify the guilty, where they would either tie or nail them to the cross until they died, which would take days. This was in practice from the 6^th century BC to the 4^th century AD. He knew what was awaiting Him, and it would be painful, BUT He still made the choice to go through with it. Romans 5:8 says, “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

So the purpose of Jesus dying for us was to present a perfect sacrifice to God that was blameless but took on our iniquities and transgressions and God’s wrath was poured out on Jesus on the Cross that was meant for you and me, so that we could have an unhindered relationship with Him and to make it easy for us to get to heaven…but here is the “catch.” Jesus says, “I am the way, the Truth and the Life, no one comes to the Father except through Me.” (John 14:6)So what He is saying here is, you can’t get to heaven through Buddha, Muhammad, a tree, by being a “good person” or any other “god” out there. Only through Jesus. Which some think is dumb, “if I’m a good person I will go to heaven.” FALSE. Don’t be so sure that your definition of “good” meets the standards of God’s definition of good. God is perfect, and His standards are so high that you will NEVER be able to reach them…but there is one person who could, and He stood in your place and took your judgment and is now the way that you can get to heaven with your imperfections and mistakes and sins. His blood has washed YOU as white as snow.

How does one get to Jesus? Well, contrary to popular belief you can’t just say, “ok I believe in Jesus now where is my mansion?” You have to, “declare with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” (Romans 10:9).  Pay close attention to that part, believe in your heart. God knows if the words you are saying have no depth to them, those words need to come from the faith in your heart that Jesus is Lord and then declare it with your mouth.

Ask yourself this question, have I ever declared Jesus as my Lord because I was scared of hell but didn’t really know what I was saying? Did I believe in my heart before I declared it?

If you answered yes to either one do yourself a favor and examine your heart. Do you really believe that Jesus is your savior?

Maybe too many people are saying it without believing it, and that is why there are so many fake, lukewarm Christians out there giving Jesus a bad name. Food for thought. Don’t be that guy…

There aren’t fancy magical words that need to be said in a sentence, just say what is in your heart. For example, “Jesus, I believe that you died for me, I believe that you were raised on the third day and conquered death, for me. I believe that you love me more than you loved your own life and you died so that I can easily spend eternity in your beautiful presence. Work through me to be the person that YOU created me to be, teach me, guide me and give me wisdom in all that I do. Thank you for loving me enough to die for me and to wash away all of my sins.”

Now please don’t just think of Him on Easter and Christmas because He is worth so much more than a holiday, He is worth it to be your lifestyle. Choose to live your life for Him.

Now I will leave you with a song that is awesome...Happy Easter...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-bUZj1bkoE

Lets take a journey into history....

Keeping in the theme of choices this week, I want to talk about people who have made good and bad choices in the past and the outcome of those choices.

I think the epic FAIL of choices would have to go to Adam and Eve, choosing to eat the apple and disobey Gods command. Because of that choice humanity was cursed. Death, disease, pain, sorrow, hard labor and so many more things were introduced into the human race after that decision. If you want to read it in depth you can find that story in Genesis 3:1-25.

How about Noah? I think his good choice to be obedient to God and built the ark saved humanity. Thank you Noah, but I’m still wondering why the Unicorns didn’t get the memo….

Abraham….he makes the list of good and bad choices. Bad choice: After being told by God that he would have a child and be the father of many nations, him and Sarah got a little impatient. After years of not having any luck Sarah decides that she would give Abraham her servant to marry so that she could have the child…..enter Ishmael, the NOT chosen child. Can anyone tell me what religion stems from the lineage of Ishmael? I’ll tell you it ISN’T Christianity. Good choice, FINALLY they have Isaac, the chosen child, but God tells Abraham to sacrifice him….Wait, what???? Yup, that’s right Abraham, here is your promised child, now go to that mountain and sacrifice him to me….(I would probably have failed this test). Abraham was obedient, went to the mountain, laid Isaac on the alter, raised his hand to kill him then God say, “Abraham STOP.” At this point is God bipolar? No, not at all. The purpose of this test was to see if Abraham would be obedient to anything God commanded of him, and he passed. Because of his obedience God sacrificed HIS son instead…thousands of years later, except that sacrifice would change eternity.

There are a ton of people to choose from, who can you think of that goes on the list for a good or bad choice in history and why? Please post your answer so we can all learn something new J

Choices, choices, choices...

From big to small we make choices every day. What we fail to realize is that a lot of times choices determine the outcome of our day and sometimes events that will occur at a later date. We can choose what to eat, when to wake up, what to wear, what job to do, how many kids to have, who we marry and list goes on and on. Stop for a moment and reflect on the choices that you made today……

Now, have you ever considered the “bigger” things that are also choices? For example, it’s a choice to respond to someone out of anger, it’s a choice to love (love is a choice, not a feeling you can fall into or out of), it’s a choice to respect someone, it’s a choice to get offended and YOU choose where you will spend eternity….

Having a relationship with God is probably the biggest choice, and the biggest and most important choice that you will ever make. Here is the great thing about having a relationship with God, when you go to Him about choices that you need to make, He will never lead you down the wrong path. A side note, if God gives you an answer to a choice that doesn’t “feel good,” that doesn’t make it the wrong choice. It’s the truth that will set you free (John 8:32), not what feels good.

So, let’s say that you are new to the whole prayer thing, or maybe you don’t pray at all. One of the most common questions I get is, “How do I know it’s the voice of God and not the voice in my head?” A very valid and a very good question. When a person seeks the answer to this question they genuinely want to hear the voice of God.  Ok, so my answer is this; it takes practice. His voice is not this booming sound from the sky that many are expecting, it’s a still small voice that comes from within you (1 Kings 19:11-12). The voice of God is gentle, not condemning. He’s not going to send a lightning bolt down from heaven to smite you. Although at times He will bring correction for a behavior or a CHOICE that you made but God never condemns, if you are hear the voice of condemnation, it’s not God (Romans 8:34)(John 8:10-11). And most of all, when you hear the voice of God, you will have peace (Phillipians 4:7).

Ok, now that we have established all of that I would like you to reflect again on choices that you have made without direction from God….how did it turn out for you? What decisions have you made with the counsel of God…how did those turn out?  

What would happen if we stop letting others make decisions for us and let God make them? What would your life look like? Since I have started to follow God (and yes, I still make mistakes and God brings correction), I am happy, I love my life, I am grateful, I am challenged daily, I have awesome friends, I have more fun now than I did when I was drinking excessively and partying….maybe because I can remember what I actually did the next day….my life is not boring at all. Just because I am a Christian does not make me weird or boring.

This blog is about growing and overcoming, so, I want to leave you with some challenges for the rest of the week:

1.       Every day this week pray for 5 minutes. Begin that prayer with thanking God for something. If it’s hard to find something to be grateful for just remember you are alive…that’s a gift. Do not spend that entire 5 minutes praying for yourself and the things you need, try praying for others…practice hearing the voice of God.

2.       If you are in the habit of making the same bad choice over and over, try CHOOSING not to. It may take biting your lip, it may take humility if you are a know-it-all, it may take not being around a group of people you are around when you make the same bad choice over and over.

3.       If you do “slip up” write it down and write down what you were feeling when you made the wrong choice. If you made the “right choice” write that down too and how you felt when you did.

4.       Try looking up the scriptures that I used in this blog and memorize one.

PS, If you aren’t sure or confident about where you will spend eternity, send me a personal message and I can hook you up J I know this really great Guy who loves EVERYBODY and can get you to heaven.

  

“Life is 10% of what happens to me and 90% of how I react to “- John Maxwell

“The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That's the day we truly grow up.”- John Maxwell

Intro to this blog

WARNING: If the words Jesus or God offend you this in NOT the blog for you.

I hope that you will read the posts with an open mind, I am NOT perfect nor will I EVER be, that is where God's grace comes into play. I have been married for 8 years and I'm doing my best to become the person God has created me to be and not what society tells me to be. My life revolves around God and my relationship with Him. I wanted to do something to pass along the lessons that I have learned. I am all for learning from other people's mistakes and I have made plenty of my own mistakes, so I hope the things that I post inspire you to be the person that God created you to be, to give you the strength to go one more day.

I would also like to post lessons that others have learned, so if there is something that you would like to share with others (encouraging and full of hope) please send it to me in a private message and I will post it for you :)