Tuesday was a teachable moment for me. I look at myself as a pretty put together person, for the most part. We all have moments where we lose it, someone I know calls them "human moments." I like that phrase, I had a human moment. And I can appreciate them when I have them and when others have them because it is a constant reminder of how human we really are and the areas that we still need to grow in. P.S. if you think that you are "good:" and don't have areas where you need to grow, brace yourself because God has a funny way of reminding you that you are NOT perfect.
Anyways, I knew that it was supposed to rain. No signs that it was going to anything but that. Until 11 am. The news would break in and give updates in the storm that they were tracking. You would look at the radar and it was all red, meaning crap is about to go down. But it was nowhere near me, it was hitting Arlington. The first thought was, "oh God, I have friends that live there, Lord protect them." Then another storm was hitting Dallas at the same time. Again, not near me. But I go to church in Dallas, and I have close friends and family that live there and again, "Oh God protect them." Then they say that a tornado has touched down in Arlington. I knew that God would protect my friends in Arlington but I continued to pray. I thought "God they just bought that house. It's their first home and she's going to have a baby soon. They just decorated the nursery please protect their home." I am not going to capitalize on their loss, but there was a lot of damage done and they are now having to live in a hotel. But God protected them and their baby (and their dogs) and that is all that matters. Then tornadoes starting touching down in Dallas. I knew that everyone would be safe because I prayed and I knew they were praying and I trusted God to protect them.
Around 2:15pm the storm moved north, where I am. I brought in all of my plants and anything that would get damaged in the wind or hail. Then I got a sinking feeling as I watched the radar, it's going to be much worse than I anticipated. I was not scared that we would be injured or that our house would be damaged, because I prayed and I trusted God to protect us.
Then 2:45 came around and the sirens went off. I took Brayden and Gabby into the closet under the stairs. And I prayed for God to protect us. The power went on and off and I was doing everything in my power to keep my composure. Not because I was afraid of the storm, I was afraid for my other two boys that were still at school. School got out at 2:50 and it took everything in me not to get into my car and drive to the school to get them because I know that I can protect them, but can the school? Thoughts flooded my mind, "where are they putting the kids to protect them?" "Are they scared?" "Are they ok?" "What if a tornado hits the school?" "What if I lose my kids today?"
I'm not being dramatic, just honest. I had a human moment. I was scared. Taking care of them is my job. I stay home to do that, and I can't protect them right now. I had prayed for God to protect them, so why was there no peace? My pastor called me while I was int he closet and prayed with me. He said, "Everything is going to be ok," in a very calm voice Oneka said if you need to laugh just call me and I will sing for you. "Laugh? Right now? I am scared. This is NOT funny." Thank God for Facebook, because one of our friends that was in the Dallas storm posted that he told his daughter to get into the bathroom when the siren went off, and she said "why are the cops coming?" I laughed out loud. Laughter actually gave me peace. Like yes, everything is going to be ok.
I drove to the schools when they finally let them out and hour late and they were fine. Dominic complained because his butt was numb from sitting on the floor and Asher was excited because he got to hang out in the girls bathroom during the storm. Again, I laughed. They were ok. God protected the.
Later as I was thinking about my reaction because I do NOT like to be vulnerable God showed me an area that I need to work on. I trust God with things, but obviously not concerning my children. He reminded me that He can protect them better than I can, especially in situations that are out of my control. Not that I am going to have them play in traffic and "trust" that God will protect them. Obviously that's not wise. But If I pray and ask God to do something I have to have faith that He will do it. Otherwise I am praying in vain.
Sorry if this story was anti-climactic. Everything is fine here but we have friends that have lost things. But things can be replaced, God protected them. He can also restore the things that have been lost.
