What JUST HAPPENED?

I was about 3 hours into my drive and I was in the middle of nowhere Oklahoma. Gabby started crying and I knew it was time for her to eat so I saw an exit coming up, and as I approached I see this ghetto wood sign that says something along the lines of “best animal exhibit in the nation.” Two thoughts came to mind, what kind of animals do they have out here in the middle of nowhere and will I be killed by some toothless inbred if I go there? I decided to take my chances. So I pulled off the highway and pulled into this parking lot that is literally across from a trailer park, not a nice one either. I say a prayer that I won’t get murdered and got all of the kids out of the car. We go up to the door and there is a sign that says they are not responsible for animal bites…sounds safe enough! I go in and pay for us to have a private escort through the exhibit because at the end of it the kids would get to play with a baby tiger (the white ones with the blue eyes). We walked through the exhibit and we came to the cage that had porcupines in it. Now from all of the cartoons I have ever seen the porcupine would shoot its quills at you, so I’m quickly escorting my children away from the chain link fence so we don’t get quills shot at us. BUT just so you know they don’t shoot them at all. Just don’t brush up against them. Anyways, there was a guy going in to feed them and the porcupines ran to the door because they saw the food and they followed him through the cage like puppies. They each knew their names too which I thought was cool. This guy saw the boys watching and he gave each of them a quill! I immediately took them and put them in my purse because it would become impaled in one of them and as the sign said they take no responsibility! There were Lions and tigers and LIGERS! Yes, they do exist. At the end we were brought into this cage and the woman who was escorting us brought out this baby tiger and the kids got to play with it. After we were done we went back inside and I got 4 waters and 4 icees. It cost me $14!

Because I knew I would be going through a toll in Kansas I withdrew $20 before I left, I decided to pay for the waters with my cash. I was given $6 back. And that was NOT enough to get me through the toll. I got to the toll in Kansas and I was certain that when I stop to fill up with gas I can withdraw more so I don’t have to worry about it. I get to the ATM and of course it says “out of order.” Why wouldn’t it! So I have a 5 and a 1 rubbing them together hoping they make babies because I have NO IDEA how I am going to get through the toll, it costs like $15. So I was asking God to do something because I don’t know what to do. I get to the exit where I have to pay. There is a long line of like 6 cars at one of the toll windows but I notice at the end there is a green arrow blinking showing that that line was open, so I pull all the way over to that one, I get to the window and the lady says, “that will be $6.……..” I handed it to her like what just happened was normal.

Now am I saying that was an angel at that window? Perhaps, I don’t know what happened all I know is God pulled through for me. Hebrews 13:2 says, “Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing some people have entertained angels without knowing it.” I know it’s talking about being hospitable here BUT the point is, angels are among us.

It was a fun trip through the backwoods animal exhibit, the kids will remember that AND God showed me that He’s got it covered.  

Your perception will determine your attitude

So I know it’s been a LONG time since I have written. And I would like to give a shout out to Jordan because he is the one that actually said something about it which says to me that he learns new things when he reads them and is in need of a new revelation. So if no one else gets anything out of this, here you go Jordan.

I just got back from my road trip to Minnesota. I packed up all four kids, said a quick prayer for sanity and off I went.  I took this same trip last summer, same time but I was pregnant with Gabby and my life was in a state of uncertainty. Not between Jordan and I, just with some big life choices that we had to make. Out of respect for the other party I will not further explain the choices. I was in a place where I was spiritually dry and wanted so badly for God to tell us what we wanted to hear because that would have made everything so much easier; but, He didn’t. He told us to do the most difficult thing that we have ever had to do.

Back to the trip last year. I enjoyed myself but I had this cloud over my head and was constantly thinking about the choice we had to make. I over looked the beauty around me. I neglected the family that was around and wasn’t completely present.

This year was so much different. I went with clarity and with excitement and joy. I took in everything that I missed last year, the drive up there was beautiful. I got to see the rolling prairies of Kansas, the “best animal exhibit in the nation” in Oklahoma, the sunset over Missouri. It was really beautiful. I was completely open to what God wanted to show me and teach me. Because of my willingness, a miracle happened and during my vacation my cup ran over and God showed me that my church isn’t only one doing amazing things. All of these things have long stories behind them. Maybe this week I will blog about them.

For the past year I had been hiding behind a rock from God. And I actually told people that I was hiding from God, because I was afraid of what He would say to me or ask me to do. I allowed the enemy to twist my perception and the reality of God’s nature. Which is love and only love. When we made the choice to surrender our future to God I took the step out from behind the rock and I said, “ok God, show me, teach me and tell me what you want me to see, know and do.”  I spiritually woke up. This has been an amazing past couple of months. I have learned more, loved more and prayed more than I ever have. I feel like by me surrendering, I shed the things that were holding me back and that this year I will learn more about who God is and by doing that, l learn more about who I am. I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. That God loves me and has a plan and a purpose for my life. I am blessed and highly favored. God’s thoughts towards me are precious and if I counted them they would be more in number than the sand. By the way, these are all things that God feels towards you too, it says so in the B-I-B-L-E. You don’t have to be perfect, you don’t have to have all the answers for Him to love you. He loves you right now. Right where you are and in your current condition.

I feel so alive and I feel confident with who God has created me to be.

Here is my challenge for you. What have you been afraid to do or choice to make? What rock are you hiding behind? (If you are hiding behind a rock just an FYI, God can still see you back there). Step out from behind the rock and make the step in God’s direction. Let Him lead you. He will never leave you alone, He will never forget about you and He will never tell you to do something that will hurt you or that you can’t handle. Sometimes the choices can hurt our emotions, like letting go of a relationship or closing a chapter in your life, but it will be better for you in the long run. Let God change your perception of who He is and what He has put you here on this Earth to do.

Our lives are too short to be afraid. There is too little time for us to hide from the person God has created us to be. Go out and be an answer to the chaos in the world. He has created us to do great things. Wake up if you are spiritually sleeping, a big world is waiting for you.     

gratitude

So this topic is something that we are all aware of but sometimes forget about. This week I want us to focus on gratitude.

It’s confession time with Raema…So, I have not been the kindest person to be around lately. I have been short with my kids and cold to my husband. Both of these things are not ok, but I want to show you that I am human and fall short and I am ok with admitting that. I can come up with a million reasons why it’s justifiable but the truth is that none of them are justifiable reasons. So, why the attitude? Well, first go back to my post about choices, then come back and read this one.

God showed me that I haven’t been very grateful for the things that I have or the people that God has blessed me with. We live in a society that bombards us with images, commercials, tv shows, movies etc that tell us that we don’t “have enough” or what we do have isn’t “good enough” that we aren’t pretty enough or skinny enough, that we don’t have enough money, that our spouses are the problem that our lives aren’t what we want them to be. If we are trying to live up to those standards we are going to fail every single time.

What is the solution? Be happy with where you are now. Yes, it’s good to have goals, something to work towards and to achieve. If you are unhappy with where you are don’t sit and complain about it and blame everything else around you, do something to make a change. If you are overweight, learn self control and exercise and eat healthier. If you aren’t happy in your marriage, learn to communicate with your spouse. Learn to work as a team instead of putting all the blame on them. The list can go on and on. God never promised us that life would be easy, but when things get hard He has the solution to get us through.

I personally need to be thankful for what I do have. I am truly blessed. My kids are healthy, my husband loves me, is faithful to me and is a Godly man. I have amazing friends that will support me in anything that I do, I have a beautiful house (and I am thankful to have a house, when some people have lost everything they have in storms over the past couple months), I have a great family and I have a God that loves me enough to be patient with me even when I am ungrateful for what He has blessed me with.

So this week here is the challenge, make a list of all of the things that you are grateful for and why. When you begin to thank God for what you have, you stop looking at what you don’t have. Wake up every day and thank God for another day to live. You never know when your last day will be, so be thankful for today and try to out-love those around you. And when you fall short don’t beat yourself up, just pick up and try again. It’s never too late to say you’re sorry or that you love someone. Don’t look back and regret what you were too stubborn to do (that line was for me).

I would like to introduce you to your life, now live it to its fullest. Be an active participant and not an observer.

You be the judge....or not.

Who wants to hear a story about a girl who got a stern talking to from God? Remember the blog where I said, “God does not bring condemnation, but He will bring conviction. He will correct you when you are in the wrong?” (I just added that last sentence, it transitions better into what I’m about to say.)

So I’m driving down the road, minding my own business, talkin’ smack about people in my head, (because there isn’t anyone in the car with me but my kids and that would just make me look crazy if I was talking out loud). Remember: the title of this blog is getting real with life….don’t act like you don’t talk smack about people! I’m just being honest with all of you, I want you to see that I am human too and I have things that I need to learn and grow through. Ok, driving along, thinking about how “great and perfect” my life is and how far from sin I am. Does anyone see the irony in this? Then all of a sudden God steps onto the scene. It’s like getting caught doing something you weren’t supposed to be doing…

I love how God will use almost anything to teach you something OR to humble you. I am not going to use names or details of situations to be respectful. I have a friend that is living a lifestyle that I don’t agree with, I have judged her mercilessly. I turned my back on her and left her without a good example of how to live a righteous life. I have turned her over to the enemy and said, “have your way with her, she deserves what she gets.” Has anyone done this before?  I stood here pointing my finger at her, screaming ‘GUILTY!’ and kicking her when she is down. God made it VERY clear to me that I was standing in HIS shoes as the judge, and that these shoes are too big for my feet and basically “get out of them.” He said that it’s my job to pray for her, and to be merciful. And I have a feeling that He wants me to reach out to her to let her know that I haven’t given up on her. Just because God has told me to pray for her, does not make the lifestyle ok, but my job is to be a light in her life. This is not the only time that I have taken it upon myself to play the role as the judge, but let me tell you something, I am MUCH more cautious about what I say about people out loud OR in my head. When we stand in Gods shoes we keep ourselves from being in the posture of mercy, compassion or forgiveness. We take on a prideful and arrogant position and condemn those we think are guilty, when that is not our job.

We are supposed to use Jesus as our example, let’s take a look at one example of mercy we are all familiar with. John 8:2-11 (my thoughts are in red)

   ² At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. ³ The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. (Cleary guilty) They made her stand before the group ⁴  (to belittle and humiliate) and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. ⁵ In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” ⁶ They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

   But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. ⁷ When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” ⁸ Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

   ⁹ At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. ¹⁰ Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

   ¹¹ “No one, sir,” she said.

   “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Jesus, the only one that is perfect and could judge someone, didn’t. Go a couple verses down to John 8:15-16, “You judge by human standards; I pass judgment on no one. ¹⁶ But if I do judge, my decisions are true, because I am not alone. I stand with the Father, who sent me.” 

Ummmm, ouch! I now have two ways of looking at things, when in doubt, stay on the side of humility and mercy…

¹ “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ² For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” (Matthew 7:1-2)

Here is an assignment for this week. When you catch yourself gossiping or thinking hatefully about someone, REPENT, and get out of Gods shoes. Simple challenge…be aware of your thoughts and words, God hears them all.    

The Prodigal horse

I was wonderin what to write this week to all of you, then my sister-in-law, Lauren, just posted this on her page. I think that all of you need to hear this, it's beautifully written and really speaks to your heart, enjoy!

I sit here in my green lawn chair staring out onto the ridge of 6500 acres at Pole Canyon.  As I stare out I see trees, cactus, ridges and hills but the one thing I don’t see is the only thing I am looking for – my horse – Bert. I feel like a mom who stays up all night waiting for her kids to come home safe.  I call out yelling his name “Bert, Bert!!!” but he is either too far away to hear me or he doesn’t care.
Bert panicked earlier today when his pasture mates rode off on a trail ride with out him.  He did NOT and WOULD NOT be left behind.   He was in a 10×10 pen but that was not going to stop him from being with his herd.  Horses need security to feel safe and Bert’s security was in his pasture mates.  When the   securty was ripped away from him, he panicked.  First he threw a tantrum and with out words was saying, “Don’t go, Don’t go!  Please don’t leave me here, I don’t want to be alone and I am scared!” But when that didn’t work he started to bang his body up against the pen panels hoping to push them open.  When that didn’t work, he lost all sight of sanity – all sight of self preservation.  We call this FIGHT or FLIGHT in the horse world.  And Bert decided to “FLIGHT”!  He jumped over the pen.  It wasn’t one smooth jump – Nope – he was stuck half way and ripped the skin off his front legs.  That didn’t slow him down or stop him – “FLIGHT” continued to ring in his head.   He pushed his back legs off the ground and jumped over the rest of the pen.  This time his front hooves scraped up against his back legs causing blood to gush down his beautiful white leg.  Bert’s fear took over and he was no longer the rational, sane horse that was given back to me from the trainers just 6 short months ago.  He was irrational and very capable of causing harm to me and himself – all so he could be close to the other horses and have a sense of securtiy back.
I tried to call him down and catch him.  I tried to offer him food, grain and water – all securties and things needed for survival.  None of that mattered!  Finally with panic and fear his his eyes, he took off into the vast open space – the 6500 acres of Pole Canyon Ranch.  Now I sit here staring out onto this beautiful view constantly sweeping the ridge lines looking for a trace of my beloved horse.  As I sit here, I have to wonder -”Is this how God feels?”
Is God sitting on the His throne looking out onto the horizon hoping that His Children will still find their way home?
Did God see the panic and fear in our eyes as we made the wrong decision that caused Him harm – that caused Him pain – as we turned our backs and galloped off chasing something we would never find?
Did God provide us with a pen and strip us of our false sense of securties, in order for us to trust Him and rely on Him for safety?
God is this how you feel?
As all these thoughts run through my head and I wrestle with the idea that my horse may not be found and may not find his way back, I hear God say “Lauren, would you give this all up for me?” Continuing to stare out to onto Pole Canyone, I said “God I would give it all up for you.” At the moment, I had to lay Bert down.
We continued to search for Bert.  Other riders had gone out for several hours in search of a sign of my horse.  They looked for fresh tracks but because the land was so dry they could not find any.  We would climb to the highest point of the Canyon hoping for a glimpse of Bert.  We continued to call his name and look in creeks and brush for my lost horse – still no signs of him.
Over 30 hours after Bert panicked and left camp, a cowboy named Floyd arrived at the Canyons to go trail riding for the weekend.  Floyd was an avid trail rider and new the land at Pole Canyon like the back of his hands.  I informed Floyd of the missing horse and asked him to keep his eyes open for a buck skin paint.
We had left that evening to go into town for dinner.  They hoped to distract me from the emotions of feeling as if I had lost my horse. They tried to reassure me that he could still be out there and we would find him before we came home; however, I could tell in their tone that even they were beginning to lose hope.
As we drove back to the Canyons that evening, I could see from far off the rode that someone had put their horse in Bert’s pen – Wow – that hurt!  Even the other riders believe he isn’t coming back and they are now using his pen for their horses.  As we drove closer to the camp site and the pen where Bert was last seen, I catch a glimpse of the horse that is now in his pen and I scream “Bert is here! Bert is here!  My horse is back!”  It wasn’t another horse in his pen but it was my horse!  It was Bert!  I yelled “Stop the car!” and I swung the door open, jumped out and ran as fast as I could towards pen number 10.  It was Bert – it was really him.  He was in his pen, safe and unharmed.  He only showed signs of cuts and scrapes but overall he was fine and happy to be home.   I turned around and there sat Floyd outside his trailer.  I ran towards him and said “Did you find Bert? Are you the one who brought my horse back?” He said he found him far off in a field by himself and Bert couldn’t have been happier to have been found and head back to camp with him.  Before he could even finish his rescue story, I gave that cowboy the biggest hug ever which in return he replied “Wow, I didn’t realize the horse was worth that much?!?” And I told him, “He is worth that much to me!”
In Luke 15 is the story of the prodigal son.  The prodigal son ran off into the world and wasted all of his inheritance.  He was left with no money, food or shelter.  The son left the safety of His father’s home to chase after the things of the world.  He finally came to his senses and decided to go home.  In verse 20 it says “When he was still a long way off, his father saw him. His heart pounding, he ran out, embraced him, and kissed him.”
God feels the same about us.  He is looking out over the highest points yelling our name “Lauren, come home!  Lauren, come home!” He is searching for us in the canyons, creeks, ditches and brush.  He continues to have hope and believe that He will see us walking out over the ridge line headed towards Him!  Bert chose to go into the vast canyon by himself because he was too afraid to stay at camp alone.  But what Bert didn’t realize was that although the other horses were gone, I was still there.  He was never alone!  And just like Bert was never alone, we are NEVER alone.  No matter how scared we might be or feel, we are never alone.  All we have to do is call on His name and He is there!

"You are a priority to Me."

I was walking tonight and I was praying while I was walking and God put this on my heart.

“You are a priority to me.”

When you are praying you aren’t waiting in a long line to get God’s attention, He is always listening to you. When you open your mouth and speak He hears you, when you step out in faith He sees you when you cry He counts every tear. I love the scripture, “…for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deut 31:6)

God is concerned about all that you do, from the small to the big things in life, He cares. If we weren’t a priority to Him He would never have given humanity a million chances to be the people He created us to be. He sent Jesus to take the punishment that was meant for you and me. Back at the garden of Eden He could have been like, “peace out fools, you’re on your own!” (God talks to me like that in case you were wondering). But He didn’t. He made them a promise that there would be one to save humanity, and He sent His own son. Personally, if you have kids try to imagine doing that. Tell one of your kids that they are going to be beaten until they were no longer recognizable, spit on, ridiculed, abandoned by those closest to them, rejected, then hung on a cross for a crime they didn’t commit. I couldn’t do that, sorry we would all would be going to hell if it was in my hands…But God didn’t do that and neither did Jesus, He said, “not my wil,l but yours be done.” You were a priority to Jesus. He died so you could live eternally in the presence of God.

Side note: I have always wanted to know what it would be like to walk on a street of gold, and do we need to walk or can we tella-port places and fly? I can’t wait to find out.

If you think that you have been forgotten about, you haven’t. You are a priority to God. Hang in there, your answer is on its way.  

Priorities

New week, new topic.

May I take a quick moment to remind those of you reading this, I talk about JESUS and the BIBLE if you are going to get offended stop reading it immediately.  I am not “preaching” at you, you are choosing to read this, just a friendly reminder J

With that being said, I appreciate those of you that are growing and learning something new from my posts, that has been my prayer this whole time.

This week I want us to focus on priorities. Our society pushes their agenda on our lives and we ignorantly follow what they tell us. We need to more aware of where all of our time is going and what we are investing that precious time into.  Are you caught up in drama? That wastes our time talking about it AND thinking about it. What could you be doing that is worth something instead of getting caught up in other people’s issues you have no business getting involved in? Are you wasting your valuable time in relationships that are toxic and draining? It is really hard to walk away from friendships that are unhealthy but would you rather walk away now or look back five years from now and regret all of the time you invested that amounted to nothing but pain?

How about your money? I know people get really defensive about their spending. But you will invest your money into what you value and what you value is a priority to you. Do you save? Do you give to the needy? Do you tithe? Do you use wisdom in your purchases? Do you spend more than you make? The way you answer these questions will show you what you value. Will expensive clothes make you a better person? Or better yet, can you take them with you when you die? “Life is easier when you have a lot of money.” Is it? Do you know who your real friends are when you are wealthy? Would they be there when you aren’t wealthy?

You know what's in a persons heart when you see what they value. What do people see about your heart? Are you shallow? Are you selfish? Or, are you generous and kind? Remember, God examines the heart.

I have been taught that God always comes first, your husband second, children third, everything else comes last. So, why your husband before your kids? Well, when your kids grow up and leave the house, who are you going to be living with? Your husbad. It would be wisdom to make sure you always keep that relationship healthy because you don’t want to wake up in 20 years and wonder who this person is laying next to you. Not only that, your relationship is a living example to your kids about how to conduct themselves in a marriage. If you have kids, and you are married, what are they learning by watching you and your spouse? You have to make time for your spouse, they even come before you. It’s not easy and at times I don’t like it, but you have to remain selfless.

Do your friends take the front seat in your life? Be careful who you surround yourself with, you are who you hang with. Trust me, I learned this one the hard way.

If you have woken up and not liked the life that you are living, ask yourself why? Don’t put the blame on others, a lot of how your life is going, is a choice that you have made. Granted there are things that other people are responsible for but you are responsible for how you deal with it and overcome.

I urge you to get your life balanced with what’s really important. It’s never too late to make changes, it may not be easy but it’s never too late. (p.s. if you are unhappy in your marriage I am NOT suggesting divorce…that should never be the first solution to problems in your marriage).

This weeks “assignment”

1.       Remember that prayer thing? Yeah that should be a priority. So continue prayer every day but take make three of those days 10 minutes instead of 5.

2.       Make a list of your priorities, and be honest with yourself.

3.       If those priorities are out of order, make some goals to correct them (a handy tool would be to ask God how to correct them)