Prayer of the righteous....

So I was looking at who my audience is, to better speak to you all on your level (being sarcastic, I am just curious) apparently I have people in Russia that read my blog? Wow, to all of you in Russia, Zdravstvujtye! You can find ANYTHING on google, That's hello in Russian! 
So you all are never going to believe what happened this last week. As you read I did NOTHING productive in terms of my weight loss goals. I ate cookies and brownies and loaves of bread. I get on the scale and hung my head in shame, and much to my surprise I lost 2 lbs.....I know I am confused too. So I thought Jordan was pulling a prank on me because he is sick of hearing my really "big plans" to lose weight and changed the scale. So, I had him get on it and it was accurate. I have officially changed my weight loss plan. Eat whatever I want....I guess that works better, or maybe it was all of the meds i was on? I did try on those jeans again, still a muffin top so I am thinking maybe 5lbs left and I won't have to work so hard to get them on. I guess we shall see. I do plan on burning a bunch of calories in MN because I am going to go sledding like a 5 year old and whoop on Jordan at hockey.  
That's all for today, I have a crazy busy week. We will see what kind of time I can come up with to write about my really exciting life....

I blame Minnesota.

I would like to use this platform as an opportunity to blame my location of birth and upbringing on the fact that I can NOT lose this weight. I suppose it's only been two weeks and I should chill out, but whatever. I was raised in the frozen tundra (Minnesota) and whenever it gets cold here all I want to do is eat a creamy soup, a loaf of bread, brownies and drink coffee. This is of course completely contrary to ANY healthy lifestyle advice you read online. I guess I technically have two weeks until Christmas, so maybe I'll lose another pound or two. To make myself better I ate a bag of steamed sugar snap peas for lunch, and I chased that down with a brownie. So I think that I am right on schedule. I am one legit goal setter.

Nope....still fat.

Look, I know it's been a week but is it wrong to just want to get lipo and be done with it? I don't have time to go to the gym! I'm a busy LADY!!!! I think that I've lost like 1lb. So whatever, I'll take it. At this rate I'll be down 4 lbs by Christmas. Is that enough to fit into my jeans? I guess we shall see. I have vowed not to try them on until right before I leave for Minnesota.  I have decided to come to terms with the fact that SOME OF MY CLOTHES MAAAAAAY be out of style, so I went through my things and I am donating a lot of them. I'm almost 30, isn't that the age where you start to wear a pant suit everywhere you go? I think I need some pant suits. OMG with a muffin top? That would RULE! I am really excited for what 2012 has in store for me AND my muffin top. We have big plans.

I think it's been a week?

Well I kind of fell off the grid there for a couple of days. I have been sick for the past two days. I wonder what the caloric make-up is of a Dayquil? On Friday I was really excited because I thought that Jordan and I were going to get to go to a Christmas party for his company, where I got to get dressed up, what girl doesn't like to do that? Well, I guess Jordan waited too long to get tickets so no party for me, I'm not gonna lie I ate three trick-or-treat candy bars to try and make me feel better. So I'm not sure how effective I will be at working out this week. For the past three days I have been eating bits and pieces of food (I seriously cannot remember what I ate). I think I had a banana yesterday...
I have zero creativity today so this is about it for my post. Sorry for the amount of lame I am giving off right now.

Day 3

Well I was really excited because I had a pear for breakfast, took my multi-vitamin (because you are supposed to eat it with food) and a glass of water. Then I threw up my pear because apparently a pear isn't food enough for the dumb vitamin. I was planning on going to the cycling class that morning but the throwing up kind of put a damper on that plan. So I thought, I worked out two days in a row, I'm gonna take the day off. Then I thought UGH I have to tell everyone that I didn't work out and they will think I'm lame. So I went for a walk at the park. I guess it's better than nothing. I don't remember what I had for lunch, so I'm guessing it wasn't much. And Jordan and I ended up going out for dinner after our leadership meeting. I had an omlette with egg whites, it was amazing! Something I need to work on, going to bed earlier. Midnight is too late for me.

Lame day 2

Day 2

I had a bowl of Multi-Grain Cheerios. Now i can see why Gabby won't eat them

I decided to put workout clothes on after I took a shower. Maybe to motivate me to go to the gym? Knowing that I wasn't going until almost 6 that night.

For lunch I had a handful of Wheat Thins and tuna.....lame

I think I did 100 loads of laundry, so that has to count as some form of a caloric burn right?

Finally went to the gym with a friend. We took a class. I think that lady was trying to kill us.

And a drum roll please for dinner....steam sugar snap peas and carrots. For dessert another pear.

Well this blog is going to be this lame for the next 4 weeks. I better lose this weight or I will hurt someone. And I wanted to eat a Kit Kat last night but I didn't a. because I am an honest person and I knew I would have to tell you I did that and know that you all would judge me and b. if I did eat it and lied to you I know that liars go to Ohio. It's cold there.

Muffin Tops RULE!

So, I did a 21 day fast and lost about 5-7 lbs. That was a month ago, I pretty much gained around 3-5 lbs since then…..I have a pile of jeans that are sitting in a corner mocking me because I can’t fit into them YET! I’ll show you pile of jeans! I have roughly 10 pounds to lose until I am at the weight I was before I got pregnant with Gabby. Things that I have learned over the past year are, Chili Cheese Burritos should NOT be a staple food in your diet, your metabolism is MUCH slower the closer you get to 30, you do NOT need to eat a whole bag of chocolate on any day EVER! And my sister-in-law will love this one, meat can be over rated (but I’m not committed to being a vegetarian).  So, I am really wanting to kick those jeans ass and fit into them again..by Christmas? I’m not sure if I’m over committing myself to this one but, we will see how it goes. I might just wear them, muffin top and all on Christmas. Your welcome Minnesota family! Now that this is on the internet, public information to the WORLD, I either need to do it, or go into hiding. I am going to keep track of what I do every day so you all can take part on this insane journey for 4 weeks. I don’t care if you don’t care, I’m writing anyways.

Day 1

Had rolled oats, cinnamon and raisins for breakfast, it’s not as good as the stuff with the dude with the hat on the package (I’m not getting paid to endorse products so forget names)

Went to a cycling class at 9AM! I suppose I am feeling really ambitious.

Almost threw up and died during the class.

Went to my storage unit to get all of the Christmas decorations. Of COURSE they would be in the back at the bottom. Does this count as weight lifting?

 Set up my Christmas tree, Seriously? The lights don’t work?

Went to Target to buy new lights. These better work or I’m gonna punch someone.

Crap I forgot to eat lunch. I never thought I would say those words ever. Who forgets to eat?

For dinner, steamed vegetables. I would rather starve. UGH.

I usually want to eat a bag of chocolate by 8pm, and I stated earlier that this isn’t a good idea. So I had a pear. I feel depression slowly creeping up on me. LOL.

And all of you who know me, know I will drink coffee like a champ, I didn’t have any today. I think that deserves a bag of chocolate….